She is in my trunk
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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