Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
