Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
