everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
