I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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