i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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