Sry I called you an 8
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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