I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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