Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
