i may or may not be watching the land before time
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
