Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
