I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
