I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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