Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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