Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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