you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
