the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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