you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
