Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
