we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
