I wish my penis had an off switch
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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