Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
