shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
