I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
the raccoons are back...
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