I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
