Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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