It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
