my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I have post one night stand depression
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