Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
