Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
