This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
