O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
