I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
