i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
