Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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