I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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