YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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