Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
handjob tips. give me some.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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