We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
True strength comes from lack of pants
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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