Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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