so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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