dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
