At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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