**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Dick very happy bro
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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