As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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