Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
