Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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