don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
