Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My cat gives me a boner
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
