She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
