please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Your cock deserves a montage
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
