Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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